Heatwaves

Today is the first day that I worried about attempting to put my AC Unit into my bedroom window and having it fall on someone on the street below, which means it is officially summer. This will be my fifth full summer in the city. And I honestly think it's the best season to be around here.

Spring is great and everyone always says its the best time of year, but it also is a little undeserving of the love. It's like you've been in captivity for months by the cold mistress Winter, and then this fresh, warm, hopeful lady Spring lets you free. Yeah, you're gonna probably love Spring just for being the one to let you out of the icy frozen depths of Winter. But it's a what-have-you-done-for-me-lately kind of love.  After the honeymoon period, you realize Spring is always raining and every once in a while reveals glimpses of the Winter you escaped from. The love with Spring doesn't last forever. At least for me. 

Summer though. Oh man, Summer is where it's at. There are so many great things about Summer that I'm only gonna go through a couple of them.

First off, all the unseemly rich motherfuckers in the city clear the fuck out to their respective summer towns to frolic in their little mini valhallas. I like this because my ideal vision of bars and restaurants are ones where I never have to wait for a drink or a table. Lines are something I don't cotton to. Especially when whatever I am about to not wait for is not free.

Secondly, Summer heat also gets in people's brains and makes them a little crazier, and more entertaining. People are just wilin' in the summer. You'll see a lot more disrespect for laws, for dress codes, for whatever societal conventions don't fit in with whatever they're about to do. It's funny. I basically am sweating for three months straight in the summer I have stopped giving a shit a long time ago that I have weird large wet areas on my shirts and my face looks like its trying to rid itself of some fatal toxin in its epidermis. If you care about that then, well, good luck leaving your place or ever dreaming of entering into the jungle subway.

(I have to laugh at the ridiculousness of people saying in mid summer that they can't wait until it's Winter again. I will take wilting from the heat over shivering in the cold every moment for the rest of time. I mean if the sun is too hot, take off your shirt and put on a goddamn sombrero. It's not that complicated.)

Thirdly, drunken ocean swimming. There are few things better than gettin tipsy and then running full steam into the ocean, only for it to tumble your ass end over end until you don't even know which way is up or down. NYC to outsiders is just a bustling, dirty nightmare with nature to escape to. But if you look at a map, NYC is basically sticking out into the Atlantic. You can get to the Rockaways in 30 minutes. And once there, it is Beach Thunderdome. The gay beach there has its level of fabulous set so high that you don't know how it doesn't topple over at any moment, teetering between the edges of delirium and insanity. I have witnessed a man covered in large colorful feathers with multiple birds perched on his shoulders. I can't stress how amazing people-watching that section of the beach is. And outside of that everyone else seemingly does whatever the hell they want as well. Ain't no one hassling you as far as I have seen. I can't wait to get out there just thinking about it.

So right now, I'm sweating, sitting on my couch writing this. And even though it will probably seem like the air is heavier and hotter than sitting in a steam room most of the time this summer, I'm still looking forward to it. Sometimes you just have to embrace the whole idea of getting nasty. I kinda want to call the fire department and request they pop the fire hydrant in front of my building right now.