The Bungling Is The Culture

UPDATE FROM THE END OF 2022: SHIT, HE'S KIND OF DOING A GOOD JOB.

I turned on the Bengals preseason game on Friday after the Reds game ended, cause Votto eats first in this household, and Kyle Schurmur was playing QB for us. I look him up to confirm my suspicions that he was related to Pat Schurmur, a mediocre journeyman NFL coach. It's his son, crazy! I then wondered what was the nepotism connection that got Kyle Schurmur onto the roster. Well, my stars, Schurmur hired Anarumo to be on his staff for the Giants in 2018. So as a favor, Anarumo probably lobbied the Bengals to bring Schurmur's son onto the team this year. Because that's how things work in the NFL, and also, American society at large. It's also how white people get to keep failing upward seemingly forever. I then went back further so I could see what the nepo-nnection was between Anarumo and Taylor, and wouldn't you know, Taylor, Anarumo and Mike Sherman were all a part of the Dolphins staff in 2012. That Dolphins staff is how Zac Taylor got his big break into NFL coaching, because his father in law is Mike Sherman, another mediocre journeyman coach, was the OC for the Dolphins that year. So the Bengals have a bunch of bad coaches because they were all buddies from a bad Dolphins staff like 10 years ago. Not because they earned their jobs on merit. Taylor certainly hasn't earned a damn thing considering he was a part of that Tuberville disaster at UC. Anarumo is a career DB's coach that never once was deemed good enough to be a Defensive Coordinator during his career, but now is for us. And look at the results! They're bad! Back to Schurmur though. Instead of givng a legit QB a shot at being on the roster we have a trash failson instead. Those are the kinds of decisions, when layered on top of each other, that keep the Bengals losing in perpetuity. I mean, look at the top, Mike Brown is a failson, moving downward, Zac Taylor is a failson in law. Duke Tobin is a failson (his dad was an NFL lifer). I wonder how he got his job? Real headscratcher there. The Bengals are an organization made up of failsons. Maybe Joe Burrow will save us? Maybe all these failsons will get him hurt again and we'll be bad forever? Can hardly wait to find out!