As I watched some of the Lakers Spurs showdown today a funny thing happened. I actually laughed at something the commentators said. Now if you watch the NBA, or any sport, with any consistency it is very clear that all announcers will make you more angry with their words than anything going on on the court. The exception to this situation is Jeff Van Gundy and Mark Jackson. I laughed out loud today when Van Gundy said something along the lines of Von Wafer should be on the all star team and Mark Jackson replied with "I'm speechless." These two are the straight-from-the-carwash Subaru Legacy GT with Spoiler of the NBA announcing ranks. If only Marv Albert or Gus Johnson could be the play by play guy next to these two jesters. I think that would make my ears orgasm all over the place.
On the other side of the spectrum is fucking Hubie Brown. This old man's mind is not running on all cylinders anymore and yet everyone's supposed to listen to his stream of conscious basketball musings. I swear to god, if Hubie Brown tells me to get off his lawn one more time while I'm watching a fucking basketball game, I will absolutely steal his dentures and not replace them. The man has to be stopped before he makes more and more young viewers think that his announcing makes sense. Brown is much more of a problem for the nation's youth than drugs or illiteracy or becoming a steelers fan. He's more of a problem because there is nothing more important than young people knowing the difference between good annoouncing and auditory rape.
To Be Continued
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