Kobe Bryant was arrested Monday on rape and murder charges after he burned down Madison Square Garden with 61 points in the Lakers win last night. The Knicks defense was found dead and violated by the NYPD immediately after their game with the Lakers. An unnamed NYPD source told us that the girl in Colorado that Kobe had his way with got off easy compared to the Knicks players, who were defenseless against such an onslaught of power and aggression.
Mike D'Antoni is being sought by police for questioning. It is widely speculated that he may be charged with collusion for his lack of focus on his team's defensive shortcomings.
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